My Happy Places

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28 juin 2015

Thoughts on a birthday celebration and a camping

(Written for my birthday- after a year of unintentional break from this space, as I was busy living a slower life & enjoying the coziness of my home & family, and sharing my day to day pictures/thoughts/mood with easier & quicker networks - such as Facebook & Instagram)

Today I am 34. I am celebrating another breath of life. I pour out the words that have been piling up inside since the month of June.

Blessed month. Feeling grateful for it all. Grateful for winter. For scrumptious & nutritious meals I feed my family with. Grateful for grey skies, fresher days and a duvet at night. Grateful for 9 years of marriage and a celebration of companionship, in hardship & in merrier days. Grateful for being a mom to the cutest & kindest boy. Grateful for a prayer in my heart, for some faith in love which is so grounding.

Grateful for the gift of staying home, for nesting & fresh flowers, and for very soon homeschooling my little one.

Grateful for this new rythm- a slower pace, with more rest, presence, connection & grace. A rythm filled with lots of therapeutic baking & cooking, gardening, working out, strechting & balancing on my TRX. Rythm with home & recipes. Filled with family, grocery errands, and movie nights with my hubby. Filled with the ordinary and normal.

To celebrate the start of this 35th year, I chose to immerse myself in nature & love. What better way than going camping 'into the wild' with my loved ones. On top of the cliff. With the blowing wind. With the raging sea. With the heat of the fire to keep us warm, to cook our food, and to gather the family around. With a tiny tent to shelter our bodies for a nearly sleepless night- but oh so starry. With a sunrise to wake up with. With an immersion in the ocean to cleanse the body & start anew. With magic all around. Such grandeur. Something so much bigger than our daily hassles. A sense of surrender. A deep confidence in this life. A sense of trust that we are being taken care of- if only we allow it to be.

So here we go. I am 34. Certainly pretty messed up. And it's ok. I am wishing myself a life filled with things like magic, cakes & buns, knots in my hair, more space to dance & more time to play, early nights & early mornings, and more cuddles with my loves. Trying to make lives better each day. Creating beauty. Loooking at the mundane with eyes of wonder. Living intentionally, gratefully & simply.

And a billion photos for you!!

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My fire keeper

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Posté par la beka à 13:05 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]
Tags : baking, birthday, boy, cake, camping, celebration, cooking, family, gardening, grateful, homemade, homeschooling, life, love, marriage, meals, mom, rhythm, slow, winter

25 mai 2014

Special edition for mom!

Hi all! Well i guess a few photos are better than a blank page...

So in a nutshell...

We celebrated my mom's 60th birthday during 2 week-ends - well 60'yo mom deserves proper celebration, specially if she's put up with me & with 3 other ones, with unconditionnal love for the last 33 years?! Some pampering, some good food, some seaside & sun, some lunches & dinners, and a lot of family time!!

And today we are celebrating mothers here… nothing really special on the grill, just chilling with my small family…

The 1st winter days are here & I am enjoying the shy sunrays & chilled evenings so much... Looking forward to the hearty dinners & the lazy movie evenings with my man…

Now i'm off to bake a pie for mothers day - but do we really need excuses? I can't decide wether i'll make a lemon meringue or caramel chocolate one… hesitating between the healthy -yeah lemon detoxifies & meringue is full of protein- or the decadent?

Hope you're all enjoying your Sunday & that you moms are being properly pampered!

Posté par la beka à 15:32 - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]
Tags : celebrate, mom, mother's day, pie

20 avril 2014

Wrap up

ballade en foret

Here I am after a few weeks of silence. I've spent quite a few hours sitting lying in front of my blank screen… Thinking of what to write. Looking for words. But they were not coming.

My Superman

Truth is I had a crazy busy month.

Even more true would be: I didn't feel good enough to write. Work & pressure. Appointments. Life's usual business. Kid. Viruses. Sick kid. Sleepless nights. Sick me. Feeling of apathy. Inability to think clearly. Blurred mind. My son's tantrums. My anger burst-outs. The re-connection process. Working hard not to yell. Healing the bruises. Taking the courage to rest. And of course a lot of cooking & baking going on.

My own kind of therapy to uplift my moods. To feel creative. My way of expressing my love. My care.

Introducing my Eclairs au chocolat !!

And our first Macarons!!

Simple food

simply Weber jacket potato

Tarte a la Ricotta

Homemade Ricotta

I know it can sometimes sound like life is all beautiful, and like I've got it all together. Mmmm... I wish i could say i am this woman, relaxed & confident in herself… that life doesn't constantly feel hectic… But truth is very often I feel messy, scared & lost in a way too big/fast world for me.

And the cooking, baking, chopping, kneading that goes on in my kitchen, keeps me together, on my feet & mindful.

So here are lil pieces of my life this last month. The fresh homemade food. The empowering joggings. The moments shared in friendship. The quiet family times. The simple living.

Painting with Manie

Avec son Tonton Sam!!

Sunday lunch by the sea with family

Another Sunday lunch that streched into sunset with friends

Posté par la beka à 22:54 - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]

10 mars 2014

Gratefulness & Beauty

{Note: Started writing this post on friday, but only able to publish it today}

A few nights ago I was standing on my balcony breathing in all the beauty of the star filled sky & taking in some fresh air. The house next door was having a party, with the noise, the music pounding, the loud stupid drunken laughs {i know mine must also sound like that after a few drinks}.

And there would be no other place I'd rather be than on this balcony-oh-so-connected to this sky & mountain & half moon shining. It brought back to me the memories of so many parties I've been too in my young years, of so many nights spent gazing up there, trying to find a connection to something that would feel more real than this young partying-faking-numbing-crowd.

Today I am standing exactly where I feel I ought to. Surrounded by nature. With a wild mind. Getting back a sense of 'myself'. Reconnecting with my creativity. Whether it be in self expression on the blog, writing, photographing the beautiful people in my life, baking for my loved ones...

I am learning to find happiness in gratitude. Gratitude for the most mundane basics of the daily living. It can be found in a morning jog in the forest trail alongside my lover, in eating a scrumptious homemade tatin aux mirabelles with a dollop of fresh homemade ricotta, or lunching on a homemade cornmeal bread simply served with cheese & jambon cru, in dancing on Papa was a rolling stone with my lil family while baking...

In music also. Actually music is so important in my life. It's a pity I tend to forget it so often. Music has a similar effect on me as alcohol has. It elates me & makes me feel happy. It brings out my tears & all my stuffed emotions which induce healing. And it brings rhythm into my body that starts jumping & twisting in every direction.

So here we are. Surrounding ourselves with love & beauty. Learning to change the ugly into the beautiful. Running, free as this lil guy.

Posté par la beka à 22:09 - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]

25 février 2014

Week #8 Bonne nuit

Ce soir tu es fatigué. Ce soir je suis rentrée a la maison a 18h45 après une longue journée de boulot et je suis fatiguée. Ce soir ton papa est moody parcequ'il a du avoir une journée de travail pas facile. Et ce soir a 20hr30 j'ai pas envie d'entendre 'MAMAAAN' pour la 847ème fois en 1hr. Je n'ai pas envie que tu me répète chaque parole de 'Cars' et que tu me décrive chaque scène. Et non je n'ai ni l'envie, ni la force de jouer au tracteur. Et je sens ma mâchoire se serrer, les mots se bousculer pour faire mal, les tensions accumulées qui veulent sortir.

Je me penche a ton niveau pendant que tu te brosse les dents assis sur le bord du lavabo. Et je t'écoute me raconter tes histoire de copains qui font de la trottinette au lieu de te brosser les dents. Et je regarde tes yeux jusqu'au plus profond où mon regard peut s'y plonger. Je ravale les mots qui font mal. Tu ne merite pas ça.

On se roule sur le lit pour reconnecter après ces longues heures de déconnexion. Ton corps se relâche et tu te laisse reposer au creux de mes bras. Si près de moi.

Te regarder dormir. Te sentir. Cette odeur. Cette peau si douce. Cette transpiration. Ce souffle qui entre et sort. Ce corps a l'abandon. Qui a tant besoin de moi. 3 ans pour le comprendre. 3 ans pour apprendre a être ta mère. Des mois a te laisser dans la solitude des longues nuits sur le conseil de professionnels que je payais.

Aujourd'hui je suis là. Il n'y a ni passé, ni futur, ni erreurs. Now is a sacred moment. Chaque nuit a tes cotés. Chaque nuit mes bras, ma présence, ma peau, mon amour viscéral. Et ce tant que tu en auras besoin.

Bonne nuit.

Posté par la beka à 22:05 - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]
Tags : corps, dormir, fatigue, maman, nuit

18 février 2014

Week #7, Valentine's etc

I often find myself repeating the same words to start my posts " time flies, days go by so quickly…"

I've been meaning to come here since last week. But life comes first.

So this has been my life lately:

A beautiful, slow paced week-end, that included a friendly & out of this world lunch in Chamarel gorgeous mountains the week-end before, enjoying good company, pinot grigrio, fish terrine & a decadent salad.

A sunday picnic at the beach, relaxing in the hammock while reading the newspaper.

A sweet Valentine's day that ended up with a romantic dinner at home while Jules was sound asleep upstairs. Sipping some Viognier while baking a cheese soufflé, savoring the latter (so light, it melted in our mouth) served with a roquette & lardon salad on the side; We finished the meal with a chocolate coulant topped with some crème fraiche & fruit des bois. All of it along with good conversation. A sweet Valentine's day.

Well the picture does make it sound all prefect and shiny. But that's not the whole picture. If you want the raw, there's been a few days of sulk over silly matters with my man last week. There was working at the shop on saturdays. There were too many orders of baking. And not enough time to get things crossed off my endless-to-do-list.

But really I do feel so fortunate for the love in my life. My man. My boy. My siblings. My family. My friends. Even better, I have so many people to love.

So much inspiration. The beauty found in the everyday routine, rituals, rhythm… The cooking, the baking, the chopping, the tasting… the washing machine loading, the hanging up of the clothes, the grocery shop's aisles... The smile of this lil guy I wake up to each morning. The pretty face of the man i wake up to every morning. The breath I inhale & exhale through my body.