Sweet life-or not so sweet- of a homemaker

25 décembre 2012

Warm wishes...

IMG_2203

It's been a couple of fast paced months…

Benji has been away for nearly 3 weeks for work in France… giving me some space & time for myself, leaving me as a single mom to take care of Jules, of the home, starting a new job at the same time, and going on with the usual social gatherings & food indulging!
Life is often like that hey... it all happens together… but i like it when the adrenalin keeps you going ;)
IMG_2210
I am still getting acclimated to all the parameters of the job (wine shop) and enjoying to have my own thing to do everyday (meaning not related to my son or hubby) + some money in the bank account at the end of the month! Bonus! ;)
IMG_2218
On a personal level i am still learning to let go & enjoy the moment, enjoy the people i love...
I have also been enjoying the spirit of the season, the smell of the mangoes, the litchis, the december breeze, the homemade presents, the baking & cooking, the Xmas decoration & lights, the good wine of course, being with the people I love, & embracing imperfectionism… 
IMG_2225
In this moment I am thankful for:
- the work I have
- this son of mine who grows into a boy everyday
- this husband of mine simply by my side
- the family gatherings & food sharing & gifts exchange
- the few gifts i bought myself for Xmas
- the rain that brings a christmasy atmosphere
- the long drives while I get to think about all the things I am thankful of!
IMG_2231 IMG_2224 IMG_2235 IMG_2254
IMG_2244 IMG_2261 IMG_2274 
IMG_2215 IMG_2206 IMG_2200 
IMG_2192 IMG_2196
So enough for now, leaving you here, with warm wishes for the coming year!!!

Posté par la beka à 19:54 - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]



28 septembre 2012

These last times...

IMG_1792

These last days/weeks/months… what's been going on in our home…

cooking meals, baking cakes, dinner parties, friends & neighbors, sport nearly everyday, a few bugs & flu, a bit of loneliness too as hubby was working hard, raising my baby into a boy, some days with broken communication & tears, some days with love & joy...

IMG_1794

I've started counting the last times…
nothing morbid here- just before it's too late
we all know the first times- the 1st smile, the 1st tooth, the 1st word, the 1st steps, etc
but do we know when were the "lasts"?????

IMG_1796

that time when my lil dude will take his nap on my stomach, but i'll have no idea it will be the last time
the last time he'll come to me for a booboo kiss, believing it will take away the pain
the last "chanson douce" that I'll whisper into his ear before he falls asleep
the last time he'll look at me like I'm everything to him- like I mean the world to him

IMG_1799

Of course I don't miss the 3am feedings, the teething, the needing to be carried everywhere, the poor coordination while eating...
I'm happy he's not a wee baby anymore.
Parenting is not all about cuddles & charming moments… 
it can be long… and hard…

IMG_1800

but I hope I won't become too quickly irritated, bored, frustrated, angry… even after a long day of whining, spilled tomato sauce, smashed banana on the couch, & tantrums...
& remember that I will regret the time I've hurried the bedtime, 
the time I've rushed the play time, 
the time I've ignored the snuggle time...

IMG_1804

Too soon he'll be a man who might be looking down at his old mommy- so far from the omniscient woman he thought I was...
So today is a day to appreciate.

Posté par la beka à 15:09 - - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

01 septembre 2012

Résumé photo

IMG_1784

De retour... après un long silence. Des bons jours. Des mauvais jours. Des jours qui s'envolent. 

J'attendais l'inspiration... toujours pas là... mais je vais faire simple, voici quelques photos de notre vie ces dernières semaines...

IMG_1634

Jules qui bascule chez Daddy & Manie. Il aime y venir.

IMG_1636

Petits essayages matinaux. Chemise de bûcheron, ballerine léopard, chapeau de maman.

IMG_1694

No comments.

Et puis si. C'est "moto". Il y grimpe tout seul.

IMG_1719

IMG_1725

IMG_1735

Arrosage!!!!!!!!!!

IMG_1750

IMG_1746

IMG_1776 IMG_1778

Week-end dernier à Trou d'Eau Douce.

IMG_1753

IMG_1767

Ne pas se fier aux apparences. Grand vent, grand froid. L'hiver sur la côte est. Mais Jules ne résiste pas à l'appel de l'eau.

IMG_1772

IMG_1785

IMG_1789

Voilà à peu près tout ce qui botte Jules ces jours-ci. La Meeeer. Moto. Lolo. Grimper.

IMG_1790

Et moi, me reposer............ ;)

Posté par la beka à 15:37 - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

22 mai 2012

The glorious & the messy

IMG_1601

Pfff je me fais rare ici

pourtant des histoires j'en ai

des humeurs & des états d'âme aussi

Jules qui grandit, c'est tous les jours 

les bons plats qui se mijotent, presque tous les jours

IMG_1500

Je me disais il y a quelques jours "il en a de la chance ce ptit Jules d'avoir une mère comme moi"

Ces jours-ci je souris, je prends la peine de me pencher, d'écouter ses babillements {"papa bato" = "je veux surfer sur le board avec papa"}, d'aller au fond de ses peines, de le laisser m'aider à faire mes gâteaux, de le guider sweetly, softly & gently, de l'emmener sur la planche de papa dans les vagues {avec ce dernier bien sûr}...

IMG_1497

Sauf que ce n'est pas tous les jours que je me vois comme ça- si ça peut vous rassurer 

Il y a des jours c'est plutôt la version "pauvre chou, il mérite pas une mère comme ça" {barge, impatiente, sans maîtrise de soi, énervée, fatiguée, ennuyée, pressée, gueulante, pleureuse, paresseuse,...}

IMG_1542

But no one has it all figured out. I have failed endlessly as a mother. I have yelled out of anger. Shamed with words. Written so many chapters with angst & wounds. I've made such a mess.

But then there's something like forgiveness. Like grace. Like I'm sorry, will you forgive me? Followed by a "t'aime maman"... 

IMG_1565

Et puis je me disais aussi qu'il était un petit ange...

Il coopère, il comprend, il communique, il s'exprime, il joue, il fait des farces, il taquine, il rigole, il explore, il dort, il mange, il rit, il prend la pose, il distribue des câlins & des bisous, il écoute, il raconte des tas de choses, il dort chez grand-mère & me dit allègrement bye tant qu'il y a une balançoire...

IMG_1589

Mais toujours pour vous rassurer, j'ai connu- très récemment encore- les nuits entrecoupées, les crises pendant les courses, à la moindre contrariété, le bébé agrippé à moi sans cesse, les refus de se nourrir, la gastro pendant une semaine, la clinique encore, l'incompréhension de ses besoins, de ses demandes constantes...

IMG_1569

I guess it's life. It does get in the way of your perfect plan of raising up perfect children.

IMG_1591

There will be sad days again. Days I won't hear the melody in the motherhood thing. There'll be days I'll be weary to answer the call. But I have permission to be imperfect. Forget the glossy, flawless shine of magazines. 

IMG_1548

Hun my name is Rebecca. I am going to break your heart again {even if I try not to}. But I want to be your mom. And I'll give you the softness, the nurture, the responsivness, the unconditional love that you need. And enjoy the season before you're a man.

IMG_1606

PS je réalise que je n'ai pas parlé de ce qui se trame dans ma cuisine... une prochaine alors...

 

Posté par la beka à 16:37 - - Commentaires [1] - Permalien [#]

16 février 2012

Enfin des mots... & encore des images...

Quelques bribes des dernières semaines...

IMG_0792

Cracher sur les listes, les courses, les deadlines

Savourer ce moment à ne rien faire dans un parking. seule. 

& écouter la guitare & les mots d'Hubert Felix Thiefaine à la radio

Envoyer paître les regards des passants

& fermer ses yeux & poser sa tête

écouter la musique. 

IMG_0803

Being a mother is not a hobby. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. It is to grow. To fail. To learn. To become. 

In the hardest moments you learn the most.

There are days where I feel my life is a constant construction area. Rarely ressembling the intended design. All I can see is dust. Dust everywhere. 

Some days out of love. Simply out of stock.

All I want is to fly far away. Light. Free. Or simply blind & deaf to his cries & complaints & fevers. 

All I want is to sleep. Breath. Run. Fast. Sleep again.

IMG_0898

Raising children requires the best we have to give...

Taking silly moments for what it is. A silly moment. 

Stop thinking the whole point of life is... responsability.

Being present.

Laying down our rights.

Constantly rediscovering this new identity of mother.

Giving yourself grace.

IMG_0869

Loving. true & simple.

Taking time to pause & listen to this so sweet lil voice.

Catching a glimpse of this oh so deep & pure look.

Holding tight this lil man against my beating heart.

Refusing to make life an emergency.

I'm not here to unload the dishwasher at lightning speed, but to bend low to kiss away tears. 

IMG_1031

Amazing grace. How sweet...

Posté par la beka à 16:08 - - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]

06 février 2012

Pour finir!

Aah trop dure la vie...!

On y prend goût ;)

 

Et sur les traces de papa...



Posté par la beka à 20:06 - - Commentaires [0] - Permalien [#]



Fin »